Wednesday, July 1, 2009

An excerpt...

I thought I would show you a small piece of the first chapter in my novel. I love it because it has a few of my favorite characters and foreshadows future events. Can you see what will happen? Enjoy :) feedback is awesome, also.
"So..." Danny began. "When are you going to admit that you're in love with Charlie?"
Ali halted in her tracks. "I am not in love with Charlie!"
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"You are -"
"Would you stop? I don't love Charlie. Love is a very strong word."
Danny paused, eyeing her for a second before he replied. "And three years is a long time to keep that quiet, don't you think?"
Ali sighed. "Is it that obvious?"
"It's obvious to everyone but Charlie." Danny replied. He took her waist and pushed her into a slow walk.
"Damn it..." Ali muttered. "Look, even if it is love, it doesn't matter. Charlie's with Bridget and he's happy -"
"But you're miserable."
"Only most of the time..." They walked in silence until they found a bench to sit down on.
"Do you want my advice?" Danny asked.
"Always." Ali replied.
"Find yourself another man."
Ali rolled her eyes. "I would if I could, believe me, I've tried. Maybe I should just tell him..."
"You could, I guess... but Bridget would kill you."
Ali shuddered at the thought of Bridget's wrath. "You're right, she would kill me. Besides," Ali leaned forwards and kissed him on the cheek."You're the only man for me!"
Danny started to laugh but choked it back when a tall girl in skimpy stilettos and a skirt to match strolled up, closely followed by a group of girls dressed just like her.
"June." Ali and Danny said in horror.
June Adams was the mayor's daughter and the school's "It" girl. She only wore designer clothes and shoes and acted like she was a princess, or something. Her nose was always in the air and she always bragged about how wealthy she was or how much better than everyone else she was. Ali had disliked her since the day they met and wondered why Danny had dated her to begin with. He'd taken her on two or three dates and ended it, after which June had thrown a bowl of boiling soup at his retreating head. June seemed to think that he belonged to her now.
"How's it going, handsome?" she said when she reached them, bending over a little so her cleavage popped out. She completely ignored Ali, not even glancing in her direction. her minions followed her actions and had eyes only for Danny.
"Good." Danny replied in a monotone voice.
"Good. I'm having a party Saturday night at my house, are you interested? There will be free booze for you only." She smoothed her very short and very straight hair with perfectly manicured fingernails.
Ali rolled her eyes. Even though Danny had dumped June, she didn't seem to want to let him go. Ali suspected that June only wanted him for his popular status in the school. In the few dates that they'd had, Danny said that she'd been very controlling and bitchy, with a furious temper. No guy had ever dumped her before (probably out of fear) and she didn't want the break up to hurt her reputation. June's solution was to pursue Danny until he gave up became her boyfriend. Unfortunately, June was very persistent and it was obvious that Dan was very tired of her.
"Sorry I have plans." Danny muttered, avoiding June's eyes.
"Plans?" June paused and finally looked over at Ali, taking her in as a threat."plans with her?"
"Actually, yes. June, you know Ali?"
"Unfortunately..." June bristled in anger and the group of girls tittered like birds.
"What's up, June?" Ali regarded her with a cold eye. June was a cold-hearted bitch and Ali wanted June to lose for once in her life. Ali leaned back on the bench and reached over to take Danny's hand.
June's face turned bright red and her eyes narrowed, She was nearly spitting with rage. "You - you - you're together?"
"What's the matter June? Afraid of a little competition?" Ali took pleasure in teasing June. "You might as well give up, Danny's mine now." Ali gave Danny a sexy smile and batted her eyes at him. She didn't notice his jaw drop a little as she looked back at June.
"Lets go." June snapped at her followers and they obeyed immediately. She turned on her heel and strode off, taking her flock of mindless followers with her.
"She'll get you back you know." Danny gave her hand a squeeze.
"What else could she possibly do to me? Talk behind my back? Tell me I'm nothing but a lowly peasant?" She laughed as they watched June storm off in her flock of followers.


  1. Oh, and I'd also like to mention that this is still a rough draft... nothing is set in stone yet. :)

  2. very nice, Liked the pace of the story. Cant wait for future teasers