I can't tell you how many times I've sent out this one short story of mine and had it come back with that dreaded pink slip... countless times... I cried the last time. I felt like such a failure... I've been writing for years, years, and still have had nothing real published. I was thinking, I'm 19 years old. Why the hell haven't I been published yet? you know what my mom said? You're 19! You're so young; too young to feel like a failure! I know she's right, but I can't help but feel like my writing sucks. What if I really do suck? What if I'm like one of those people who pour their blood, sweat, and soul into something and it turns out that they're horrible at it?! Like on Canadian Idol... some people think they can sing and they really can't... Dear God, What if I'm one of them?!
I know I'm ranting... I got yet another rejection slip yesterday for that same story of mine, the story I've rewritten twelve or more times and doesn't seem good enough for a magazine. I have been told its good, and not just by my family and friends. I've been told it's reminiscent of R.L. Stine (which made me quite proud, I was a huge fan of him when I was younger), but right now I'm doubting myself so much, especially with this novel I'm trying to write. It feels so... average. So not worth reading. I think after I finally (if ever) finish it, I'll put it aside for a few months and come back to it. Once I go over it, I can decide if it's worth continuing, I guess.
Anyone want to join my pity party?
- ► 2010 (13)